Backstory: Our 14 year old beagle Snickers is nearly blind, deaf, incontinent, and has a slew of age and anxiety related disorders…this email came along with a creepy pic of Snicky staring off into space, looking like she’s thinking about eating your head.

Here’s a pic of Snicky at the Vet for consult to change all her Meds. The long staring into space like  we know her to exhibit are related to decreased cognitive function they say… Or as papa george Says: She Has. The HAMMER.
Snickers would say hi if she could remember who you were!
Love you girls
Mom

Well, how long do I have to wait for a picture of my new granddog??? How is he doing? Who is taking him out the most? Are his poops manageable?

it is bitching cold here. Well below zero F. And that is, shall we say, shit-ee.
Anyway, Schatz, just wanted to say Hi. Fell in the creek yesterday, on the coldest day, Just up to my knees, and, I figured, anyone that stupid has to keep on walking. Which I did. My pants froze immediately and they were clanking while I walked. the dogs were very interested in the sound. really weird.
Love ya lots
Mom

Backstory: My mom’s kind of obsessed with the wild turkeys in our neighborhood, but they hadn’t been coming around much anymore until…

I FOUND THE TURKEYS!!!!
10 OF THEM – DOWN PUNCHBOWL LANE

I was very happy to see them safe and sound

now didn’t that make your day?

Everything is fine – I’m bringing Charlie to the vet today, he was throwing up alot yesterday, but acts purrfectly fine. Just a precaution. When I called to make the appointment yesterday I felt like a bad mother when I said he had never been to a vet before.

I’ll let you know what they say. We bought a cat carrier for him and Dad offered to take him to my office for me so I wouldn’t have to go pick him up first. I would love to be a fly on the wall watching him put fat boy in the carrier (which is kind of small for him) :) :)

Talk to you later.

Backstory: I am an Eagles fan. Also being a dog and animal lover, I was upset about them signing Michael Vick and had e-mailed my mom about it. Mom is a die-hard Yanks fan and was trying to relate!

You sound really upset, and I am trying to get a sense of your feelings. I guess if Derek Jeter or one of the Yankess was in this situation, it would be difficult for me. Geez…..I am having a hard time with the fact that Arod touched that slut Madonna.

Backstory: My mom and I text back and forth when we watch “The Bachelorette.” She sent me these text messages during Monday’s episode, in which Jillian (the Bachelorette) invites each of her three remaining suitors to spend the night with her in the “Fantasy Suite.”
Mom: Does she do each dude?
Mom: What else r these nites 4?
Mom: I’m hysterical! The dogs look worried

Just want to keep you updated: I have researched both our dogs for months and have confirmed… Jilly’s and Boo’s paws smell like Fritos!

If you have the time, please let us know when we can come down. We will resort to going to the zoo and “dropping in” if we don’t hear from you soon. Maybe a month at Thanksgiving, two months for Xmas, six months for Easter.
Love,
Mom
ps, I think you need a litter of puppies-3 or 4, a cat and some goldfish.Maybe a mouse or two, because you have the time.
Love some more
Mom
pps
I’m sure I can think of more unwanted advice, but I’m only into my first cup of coffee.

YOUNG LADY YOU ARE IN TROUBLE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT A WIMP BUT THE STRONGEST FEMALE IN OUR FAMILY. Now I do agree with Dominic that you shouldn’t mess with a gas line. I would not do anything that could blow me up. Did you have to take apart the porch swing? Ted told me that you could get a replacement awning at Walmart. This is proof that I read your facebook. Kiss my “Grandpuppy” Oliver for me. Did you forget to take the toolbox that Bernie made for you? Did you remember to take the crystal bowl back with you

Next time we are all watching TV together, make room for the dog! Poor Duke was searching for a place to sit and you couldn’t spare a few inches. I hope you’ll reconsider your selfish personality. He’s a dog!
Love ya, Mom

Backstory: My neighborhood is home to wild peacocks. They recently terrorized my mom’s garden, eating the first bell pepper she ever grew. She was distraught but seems to have fallen in love with a peahen and her four babies. I receive picture updates every couple of days.

The babies seem to double in size every week. they don’t appear to be fond of corn (though they sure were last year) but definitely puddle up over a baguette. i’ll test cheese & wine over the next few days to be sure they are not my love children.

also – one baby is particularly brave and piggy. i’ve named him super pig. he just seems to run around the yard w/ his face full of bread.

After I spoke to you I checked on Barry. No bat in the mixing bowl. So we took the bedroom apart. Sheets, bedspread, magazines, drawers, pulled apart the mattress. No bat. Bob thought he crawled into one of the many holes in the floor to die. I was okay with that, I was sad but it was cool he was dead. About nine p.m., we were watching a movie on TV, everything is dark, and the bat starts flying around the room past our heads. AAAAAGGG! So I ran in the bedroom, slammed the door and Bob caught Barry with a fishing net and tossed him outside. What an experience! No more bat rehabilitation. Ever.