Mom: Are you busy besides freezing?
Me: Nope
Mom: Do you want to play on the internet for me?
Me: Sure
Mom: You know those pouch looking things that people carry babies in on their front side, well they make them for dogs too. Can you try finding me 1??
Me: Are you sh*tting me? Why would you want one of those? If you want to carry Daisy, just buy a huge purse. Cuter and cheaper.
Mom: I am afraid it would not hold her more ways than one.
Me: Then put her on a leash :) No way in hell am I contributing to the decline of common sense and allowing the damn yankees to turn to their friends ans say “See Frank, I told you all of those southerners should have died in the civil war!” Damn yankees. :)
Mom: Thanks for the laugh. I will look tomorrow on the neighbors computer. Thanks anyways brat baby.

The more I think about the whole idea of that skit, the more I aspire to being very dog-like in temperment. Maybe it’ll be my New Year’s resolution even though I don’t believe in making them. Or maybe I’ll just start today. Maybe if Aunt J tells me AGAIN about the on-going crisis in her life (loose tile in her condo), I, too, will be able to just listen and smile contentedly. Or maybe when the business phone rings and I know I shouldn’t answer it but I do and it’s the Police Benevolent Society asking for a donation, I’ll be able to a)listen to the whole spiel without crumpling into a pile of self-hatred at having answered the phone in the first place and b) give generously, without dramatically sighing and sputtering with irritation. Maybe if I ever win the Nobel Peace Prize, I’ll be able to say, and I quote, as will so many others, “It all started with Bill and a dog.” Can you feel the Zen?

Me: Since when did Penny get her own room?!

Mom: When everyone moved out.

[Penny is a very fat, spoiled cat.]

hi,

please tell me again the name of the cats and a brief description of each. i want to be able to call them by name when i meet them. don’t want to be rude.

luv u,
mom xoxo

Yesterday Charlie and I walked into town.  On the way I passed a man with a huge dog.  I commented that he was as big as a horse.  He said he is bigger than some horses, but he is very friendly.  A few minutes later I passed a woman walking a miniature horse down State Street on the sidewalk like it was a dog.  Pretty funny.  You don’t see that every day.

I gave them your message and Bubbles just looked at me, like – you cow, what have you done to my mummy? Squeek seemed to understand but still looked a bit sad, so I gave them some ham and now they both love me more than you so you don’t need to worry about them now because they have forgotten you. They are now ham junkies and I am their dealer.

Just told ur dogs 2 go 2 bed. Cherie was sleeping on ur pink pillow. Anje hopped up and started humping her. I left them that way.

Don’t tell anyone – but Cookie is in our freezer. She’s all wrapped up in a box with plastic and tape. I know that it’s kinda creepy but we couldn’t think of where else to keep her until spring. I’m going to ask Emily, the elderly lady who lives next door, if we could keep her in her garage. Nobody uses it and it’s secure. I have a key because I keep her bird feeders filled and the bird food is is her garage. I miss having her around – the dear old bat.

It’s unfortunate that he peed on the upstairs hall carpet yesterday and pooped on the den rug this morning. Luckily, his morning poop was dry and left no stain. I treated the rug anyway. Nice to have to do when I have to be at work by 8 a.m. !

me: how so?

mom: the dogs are killing each other at my feet

me: have you ever seen a fellini movie?

mom: no, but i thought it sounded like woody allen.

SORRY, I JUST HAD TO VENT… YOUR BROTHER WENT OUT. MOM

She is really good at playing fetch. I throw the wad of paper and she runs and gets it and brings it back to me. She has been eating three cans of food a day and she doesnt have atomic poops anymore. Must have been the dry food. She just doesnt drink much water. Wolfie gives her lots of kisses which she really likes.  I think she will be really happy to see you. Hope you had a good evening and have been getting your studying done,
Love , Mom

Maybe you could find something for Lily in Target. I heard they have halloween costumes for dogs. Wal Mart has costumes too but they all seem to be too small for bigger dogs.

See you Sunday.

Love Mom

Love you Mom