The Photographic Evidence

OK … I tried to send a note on facebook but something was going funky with it.

On the picture of M and B … look in the background … I look horrible!
I look like some hard old alcoholic aunt who smokes, curses, and drinks too much! Why didn’t you tell me I looked so bad? When I saw “me” in the picture I actually blanched … blah!!
Now I’m really depressed.

Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Momkini

Me: Woah, Mom, you’re not hiding anything in this bikini pic we just found!
Mom: Girls… your mom was HOT.  Men wanted her and women feared her.


I am not sure what a blue ray player is, but cool!  Also Loved the pictures though I was getting sick and dizzy from the wall paper moving.. Darling pictures of you when you weren’t sticking your tongue out at the camera -(unladylike) LOL!!!  Cute poses!  Loved your black stockings and painted nails! Andrew was a riot!!!! ALot of guests there!  Cool dude !

You Look Like An Old Frumpy Woman

We finally got your photo proofs back. Well, they’re not all that good. Is that too blunt?? Not nearly as good as those high school graduation pics. There’s one that’s passable, so maybe we’ll get that– but they’re really kind of bad. I’m astonished. They must have used a really bad studio– and your black drape looks way too big for you— making your shoulders look all rounded and it’s kind of falling off of you, so you look like an old frumpy woman- it’s all a little weird. And your hair looks kind of plastered down like it’s all greasy or something. I don’t know, honey. They look pretty bad– and in two, your eyes are shut– and they only sent 4 proofs. How many pics did they take? But the pearls look nice. :)


Mom: I forgot to ask you what you thought of [your sister's] engagement photo shoot
Me: they’re. . . artsy
Me: are we going to have to stand next to oil drums and things like that?
Mom: that’s what Daddy wondered
we’re going to line up in front of garbage cans?
he said, “Won’t there be any NORMAL wedding pictures?
Me: but that’s the STYLE now
Mom: I know. [Your sister] spent HOURS finding the right photographer
Mom: I just hope there’s not a bunch of pictures of things like our FEET
Mom: I insist on the photo of Daddy with his pockets turned inside out
and the one where the groomsmen are dragging the groom into the church

Love, Mom