Plastic Surgery on the Ponderosa

Backstory: My mom is getting plastic surgery in a few days and will be on bed rest for two weeks…she thought she would get some early Christmas shopping done and told us to email her with gift ideas… although after our replies, I’m thinking we won’t be getting anything at all.

Mom: Ok Kiddies,
Since I will be laid up for some time starting tomorrow.  I’ll have plenty of time to do some online shopping.
How about sending me some ideas for Christmas gifts.
Love ya

Older Brother:
Kind of scared what gifts we’ll get if you’re shopping in a post-surgery, medicated state :D

who knows? With all that medication maybe this year I’ll finally get that pony I’ve always wanted…

Younger Brother:
I want to get branded with the Dallas Cowboys logo on my stomach.

You are all just too hilarious.  Ponys and brandings?  Where do you think you all live?  The Ponderosa?

The New Neighbor’s “Work”

New neighbors seem very nice but can see she has had “work done” she has the goofy looking lips that remind me of a duck’s beak but now lines around the mouth.
Love you,

You Can Run But You Can’t Hide from Plastic Surgery

Backstory: My mom had plastic surgery and TRIED to hide it from me (for the SECOND time!)

Me: Please just don’t end up like this…(insert picture of the woman that now looks like a human cat here)

Mom: I don’t look like that! Love, Mom

eBay and Eye Lifts

Backstory: 1) My mother has JUST discovered ebay and now receives approximately 4-6 packages a week of “pre-worn” Eileen Fisher clothing.
2) My mother also just got a full eye lift and fat transferred from from her thighs to fill in lines around her mouth and so her face is currently black and blue and wrapped in gauze. Dr. Toshiba is her plastic surgeon, and she speaks his name with the reverence one might expect from a devout Christian uttering the name of Jesus.

the ebay drama continues and I need your help … sooooo i got the black sweater. the problem is i just got an email from the seller and she sent me the wrong sweater so i told her i’d send the wrong sweater back and she is sending on the right sweater.
soooo…what does this have to do with you ask.
i need you to send the wrong sweater back to the seller.

never mind. i just gave it back to the ups person.

all is well here. ups person a little stunned by my appearance but gave her dr. toshiba’s card in case she needs some work.

love you.

su mama

my menopausal brain is short circuiting

I am very excited about coming down on Friday night and going to the BEACH!!  It will give us some “bonding time”. Don’t worry, I have no agenda, I’m just using the old cliche. It will be fun spending time with you. You are a very intelligent woman and I learn alot every time we are together.  I went to a dinner put on by the drug reps on the HPV vaccine. It was informative and the food was incredible-it was at the Simon Pearce, an eatery (I tried to spell restaraunt but my menopausal brain is short circuiting this morning). The place is in Quechee, very la de da. Anyway, I should be getting ready for work, I don’t think I will make it by 8am since it’s 7:54 now. By the way-I do have a problem with my left breast implant-it has formed scar tissue and it’s encapsulated so it’s as hard as a rock. Massage and vit E are supposed to help loosen things up. The right side is great but on the left it’s a true Barbie doll breast. See you on Friday night.


Love, Mom
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