Something to Tell the Police

Have fun at the beach!!! Please keep in touch with me, I’d like to be able to tell the police where to start looking for the body

How to Deal With Cops

Backstory: My buddy had an open container of hard cider in public. When cops started getting rough with him, i asked one officer “what are you doing?” I was in cuffs before i could say “my mom raised me better than this!”

As the daughter of an actual outlaw criminal (Grandpa) The ONE thing he taught me (well, besides how to break into cars) (well, besiiiiides how to deal with janitors) Oh never mind — Grandpa taught me a lot of stuff — but for sure he taught me to be nice to cops!!!!! So now I am passing that info down to you. Sorry I forgot to mention it when you were young and impressionable Love Mom

Love, Mom