Nuns and Rabbis in Government, Not Weiners

I have a suggestion.  The government should turn both parties, Republican and Democrat over to the Nuns and Rabbis and let them run the whole process.  You would’t have this business of who is doing what with their weiners!
Auck (this is a special sign off, just for me)

Wealth Redistribution Plan

Backstory: I’m the out-of-work Democratic daughter of Republican parents.

Did you apply for unemployment, by the way?  or do you still not qualify? Dad has paid into this program for years and paid a fortune doing so, so take advantage of it, please!!  (This does not make him a liberal, rather one of those whom the government is trying to redistribute his wealth, so it might as well be redistributed to you.)

Instead of iron cookware, would you like the mechanized toothbrush for
your birthday?
Lots of questions, need answers.
Love, MOM

Parental Politics

mom: ok dad on tirade about obama he yells like a wild man!

me: stand up for barack!

mom: i am, i have a voice!

Inauguration Day Plans!

Backstory: My mother has been waiting for this day for 8 years and has invited everyone who can’t get to D.C.

Here is the agenda for the day:
(Please note that the agenda can be changed at any time due to the Hostess’ mood)
Stop in anytime after 11:00 AM
Brunch with soup and quiche
snacks and more snacks (cheeses, paté, dips, shrimp and whatever else I feel like making)
Champagne at the swearing in
Flag raising after the swearing in. ( I just bought a new flag)
Champagne toast for the flag raising
Photos with an almost real Obama Food and snacks while watching the parade.
Obama Triva
Champagne toast for the parade
Dinner with Pork Roast (no pun intended) and whatever else I feel like cooking
snacks champagne toast for the Inaugural Balls
Watch the Balls and eat cheese, drink wine and maybe go crazy and dance. (Ball room gown not required)
Champagne toast for the Obama’s first dance
Hey I even got an extra TV so we can be anywhere in the house and watch the festivities.


OMG: I have to buy a lot of champagne.

Her Brains Are Stuck In Her Manolos

Backstory: My mother is Chinese – I think some of these are idioms translated poorly.

Mom: I just can not stand the palin’s big mouth and empty brain.

Me: i know
i’m glad you also think she’s stupid

Mom: If McCain dies, she will be our president? So stupid. Why some people think with their foot?

Me: exactly

Post-Election Reward

To celebrate Obama’s win and your new TV I bought you some new towels.  You can thank me later.

Glorious Day But No Hot Water

Good Morning-’Tis a grand and glorious day in the USA!! Did you have an amazing time last nite? We actually managed to stay up to see the acceptance speech. I wasn’t going to miss it!! I picked up the trib, the sun times and the NY times this morning while I was at Starbucks. Also no hot water. The heater broke last night. We are trying to get it fixed today or tomorrow. We may need to go to the Y for a shower tonight. Talk to you tonight.

Love, Mom

Voting=More Sex

Backstory: I emailed my mom about getting free Starbucks and a free Krispy Kreme when you vote.

How do they know you really voted? Any way I just read that fat women have more sex than skinny women so if you’re in the mood eat a donut!  xoxo Mo

The Ultimate (Frickin’) Cheerleader

Hi Babe,

There is a family in the end house and they’re sweet, talkative to the max, but very sweet.  The mutants remain :(

Yeah, we were sort of expecting the Obama win here…disappointed, but we’ll just have to see how it pans out…there was a big run on the gun stores before the election here (AZ)

[Brother]‘s here for now and looking for employment. We’re all trying to keep good attitude and you know that I’m the ultimate (frickin’) cheer leader – by God those guys are going to be cheery!

Love you both tons

mom :)

Mom’s Voting On A Donkey

Me: I’m registered to vote!

Mom: Yahoo!  Barack & I can rest easy now

Me: I will be at the polls on the 4th, but I won’t wear any Obama shirts.

Mom: It would be a neat idea if obama supporters could figure out something to wear that is nondescript but would signify unity in a wink wink sort of way so start something like that okay?

Me: I’ll give Barack a call and see what he thinks

Mom: Great idea!  If he’s not available though, maybe you can get up with Joe

Me: I’m sure he can spare a few mins to chat with me

Mom: I would suggest that we wear hawaiian leis in honor of his grandma!  Everyone else will think there’s a big luau party that they weren’t invited to

Me: No, I think they’ll just think we look stupid.  I suggest wearing blue.

Mom: I’m thinking I’ll ride up on a donkey

I Found Another Obama Sign

Liz!!! I was walking the dogs (my major preoccupation now) and guess what??!! I found another Obama sign in Krum!! YES!!! on that little road off 6th street going to the town baseball field and library. I was so excited I almost knocked on their door and said lets get together Tuesday for a watch party. Now I want to know who lives there!!

Election Night Plans

Oh, and Obama wants me to join him in Chicago on Election Night.  I think I’m going to be too busy biting my fingernails and throwing up.

Your friend,

Debate Hangover

I have a little bit of a headache this morning.  We decided that the only way to watch the debate was to take shots every time she said maverick or heck or darn or doggone or nucular.

Ask Your Dad…

When you get a chance, ask your dad about how he almost killed Al Gore.  It’s a good story.


Bill Clinton

He is still sexy and one of the best speakers in politics. I don’t blame Monica

You’re the only candidate who ever let his freak flag fly!

Backstory: this is my mom’s reply to a Howard Dean mass emailing urging support for Barack Obama. this is a mere exerpt. she’s on some new hormones at the moment.

Howard, is this really you? This is the second time you’ve emailed me this week! My husband’s going to find out about us. Here’s the deal. I’ll only display that Obama bumper sticker & campaign for him if you’ll come to my dad’s 80th bday party in MI. Otherwise my Hillary for Prez poster stays up (in the garage). Must warn you, dad’s a staunch Republican (if I send him a pro-Nader email, he replies “John McCain”). But most of our lot are dem or independent, so what better special guest could we get than you? Will you get our party started right? You’re the only candidate who ever let his freak flag fly! Sorry that didn’t work out, but I totally love that about you. Obama needs to get in touch with our demographic! Maybe he could stop by too? We have a high rated college; I bet you could pencil in an appearance there. We’ll have a few shots of whisky; since that worked so well for Hillary, perhaps you or he could join us in a toast? Howard darling, please hurry & reply.

Love, Mom