Mom: I’m shocked at all the different kinds of pornography they have on the computer now!

Me: …oh good, you’re still doing that.

Mom: But I don’t like it very much. Isn’t there a way I can search for romantic, heterosexual porn?

Mom: so yesterday I am looking around craigs list because I have nothing better to do. and I end up looking at pic’s of mens penis’s. great.

Me: ahaha
i love that section

Mom: so, as I’m trying to figure out why on earth it would be so easy to see these penii uncle comes in through the sliding doors behind me.

Me: !!

Mom: I must have jumped two feet, and was trying to get the penis’s off the sreen

Me: geez mom, you’re such a perv

Mom: I don’t ‘know if he saw, so I didn’t know if I should explain! Now he probably thinks I look at porno online!

Me: well, if you have giant penises everywhere, you do!

Mom: oh brother. I have never seen penises online before!

Me: How can that article you suggested be from New York Magazine on April 6th when it’s April 2nd?

Nana: Don’t be a nudnick. Just know that I receive New York Magazine every Monday and last Monday’s was dated April 6. Please keep in mind, my beloved Amy, that I am merely very old, not senile.

Me: Ok I’ll try not to be a nudnick – even though I have no clue what that means – I can assume.
Do you really read New York Magazine?! I’m really surprised… it’s kind of trashy… are you sure it’s not the New YorkER?

Nana: Wise ass! I have read New York Magazine before it became trashy. I also have subscriptions to magazines dealing with sex toys and porno. Love you a lot.

Me: Nana must I remind you that this is my WORK email and they filter this stuff!!! I guess they missed this one…  Anyway I am a wise ass but only out of my deep respect and admiration for you.

Nana: Go back to work. We need the money