Backstory: I recently gave my mother a few mini-bottles of port.

Mum: You know, I can’t open one of the bottles. The cap turns and turns but won’t come off.
Me: Maybe you could make a little hole in it
Mum: What?! And drink it like a baby’s bottle??  I’m not quite that desperate, I’ll have you know.
Me: Ok, ok.
Mum: Nah, what we’re going to do is your dad’s going to hold onto one end, with a set of pliers, and I’ll use another set on the cap to unscrew it. And voila!
Me: Not desperate, huh?