What is a “Cannabis User”?

Backstory: My mother recently discovered craigslist to place tenants in her rental properties. ‘Cieverwenso’ is a slang spanish term in our area for someone who has no shame. I’m not sure if that’s how it’s spelled, but that’s how she spells it.

Mom: Hey what is a cannabis user?
Me: A pothead
Mom: I don’t think so, it was on a craigslist need to rent. The guy said he wanted roomates that were ok with a “cannabis user”
Me: Trust me mom, it means he smokes pot. Cannabis is another word for marijuana.
Mom: Are you sure? Why would he put that kind of information on the internet? People shouldn’t just talk about their drug use in public. Cieverwenso!

Naked Nancy

Backstory: My sister has an internship where she is rooming with a girl who is naked all the time.  She constantly calls us with naked updates and how annoying this girl is.  My mom texted me this at work one night.

hows work? laura just told me that she wants to run naked nancy over with a mack truck.  now that is not nice!! I hope she doesn’t really do it or she will go to prison. POOR LAURA.

Your Roommate’s Deep Level of Depravity

Backstory: My crazy roommate made me cry at work, my mom wrote me this to make me feel better.

You know what?  I do think she is nuts, but, think about it.  God somehow can sift through all of her “stuff” and see the good.  I know that I have never met her, her Facebook Profile is base and full of self absorption, she would make a horrible spouse, she is not a very happy person deep down.  She wants to bring everyone in her circle of influence down to her level of depravity.  If someone joins her in her misery, it somehow absolves her from dealing with her wrong living.
Are you still watching Glee???
Love you,

S/he’s All That

Backstory: To my conservative mother, recycling and having gay friends basically makes you a rebel. She’s always trying to be supportive of my wacky life “choices”. A slip of a pronoun is enough to send her imagination running.

Hi son,

I called your house today and your roommate answered. When asked to speak to you he said, “She’s not here.”

Why’d he say she? Is there something you need to tell me? Let me know.

Love, Mom

Passive Aggressive Poster Girl

Backstory: My roommate doesn’t care for me and does nothing to hide it.

This girl sound like she should be the “Passive Aggressive poster girl.” Anger issues? She’s out of control so she wants to control you? The less you seem to let it bother you, the more angry she gets? Try a good old-fashioned “bitch slap” Only kidding…I just love to say it…bitch slap…bitch slap…bitch slap.

Frugal is Very IN Right Now

My roommate and I decided to bring in a third roommate to share my room in our apartment to cut on costs and I was upset about the lack of independence it would bring.


I hope you had a great day and are looking forward to the future! Just because you now have a roommate does not mean you are going backwards – instead you are resourceful in order to keep the money you earn and save for the future you want. A little sacrifice now tastes so much sweeter later. IT should get you excited to find ways to save yourself some of that hard earned money. Frugal is very IN right now and it is very self satisfying. Cangratulate yourself and pat yourself on the back – I am proud of you. It is not shameful to save money – on the contrary. Satan wants you to think you are deprived but when you take control you have the power over money. DOnt serve it let money serve you!

Love you and I am proud of you. Be so grateful for this opportunity. God is providing.



Roommate’s Response

Backstory: “My roommate sent in what her mom wrote to her about us moving in together. I thought I would share what my mom wrote to me.”

Do you really want to go down that road again? I don’t like this idea, you don’t know her well… What if she’s a secret cocaine user…  If you guys don’t get along is she going to flip out on you??? There are so many things that could go wrong here… drugs, promiscuity, anger issues. What if she puts super glue in your shampoo as a joke? Things to think about…

Love, Mom