Backstory: I received this letter my second year of college, after a false rumor was spreading around my hometown about a possible impregnation of my girlfriend.  I saved it for posterity.

Here is the insurance card for your car.  I didn’t think you would be home before it was due.

I heard what the rumor was up at the school.  I only hope if that ever happens we hear it from you first.  Also I hope if you’re having sex you are using condoms or some sort of protection.  That’s all I’m saying on that subject.

No much happening here…cold and dreary today.  I’m washing clothes and need to do some baking so I’d better get moving.

Take care

Love,

Mom