Mom’s Secret Criminal Past

Mom: Ugh I hate this song and its like the 5th time I’ve heard it this week! I wish we had better reception at work.

Me: What song?

It’s old, you wouldn’t know it.  It’s called Downtown, they used to play it constantly when I was in Juvi.

Me: Excuse me? Juvi?  As in Juvi Hall for bad kids??

Mom: I told you about that didn’t I?  How a few friends and me stole a car when we were 16 and drove to California and got arrested. Grandma made me stay for 2 weeks to teach me a lesson.

Me: Definitley not, I feel like I would have used that for reasoning to do alot worse things as a teenager.

Spilling the Family Secrets

mom: Yes, you might regret asking me that later so best to probably ask me later – get me drunk.
me: you don’t drink.
mom: Au contraire little one — $20 comedy club was not that long ago . . .
me: i’ll go buy the cheapest wine i can find then i suppose and get you drunk.
then maybe i can find out what that big secret is that you won’t tell me, and you were supposed to tell me before i got married.
mom: . . . get a BIG bottle of cheap wine . . .
or some Vodka collins’s
me: will do.
mom: Maybe I’ll just leave a note attached to my Will . . .
mom: ha ha ha
I’m just putting it off because you might get really pissed and I could not deal with that right now. so, yeah, get me drunk and if you get pissed then maybe I’ll die and I won’t know you are pissed but you will still have all my money so then if you have the money maybe you won’t be so pissed . . .

Mom the Medicine Woman

Backstory: I got a prescription for the same anxiety meds my mom is on but I can’t afford to buy them right now. She sent some with my dad when he visited… without him knowing.

There is a big green tub full of your stuff that dad is bringing. When you open it there will be the fox fur coat on top. Inside the pocket is that medication. I put it into one of those teeny tiny ziplocs that extra bottons come in on new clothes. I taped it inside that pocket so it wouldn’t fly out. Please put somewhere safe so kitties don’t get it, since it’s not in a bottle, and dad doesn’t see it. i don’t need a lecture.Maybe you can take that coat out to hang in your room and remove it there. Anway, use sparingly as I don’t know when i can get a new prescription. (Hopefully soon with dad home from work!) I think i put 10 there . Remember, they are 1 mg so you only need 1/2. You shouldn’t take it unless you can get at least 7 or 8 hours of sleep because they are in your system for a while and you will feel groggy next day. You really should try benadryl first.Love, mommy

Goin’ to the Chapel…

Backstory: My mom flew to Reno and got married… and forgot to tell us!

I had this thought this morning…
Life is the lesson.
How you live your life is your lesson.
The choices you make are your lessons.
How other people respond to your choices are their lessons.
From our choices, is our growth.
Grow in love.
God is love.
I made a choice to follow my heart…Bill and I will be married tomorrow at 4pm. Carol & Harry will be witness.
We are all very happy & excited!
My wish for all of us is to be ourselves & grow together.
I love you more than ever…

Getting to Know Mom, Getting to Know All About Mom

Backstory: My mom sent out one of those friends test that ask you to put a check next to the things you’ve done.  


Mom: AWWWWW!  You made prank calls, skipped school, and went skinny dipping! I’m shooooooooooocked!

Me: Not as shocked as I was to find out that YOU went skinny dipping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom: Heeeheee!

Love, Mom
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