Mom: Ugh I hate this song and its like the 5th time I’ve heard it this week! I wish we had better reception at work.

Me: What song?

Mom: It’s old, you wouldn’t know it.  It’s called Downtown, they used to play it constantly when I was in Juvi.

Me: Excuse me? Juvi?  As in Juvi Hall for bad kids??

Mom: I told you about that didn’t I?  How a few friends and me stole a car when we were 16 and drove to California and got arrested. Grandma made me stay for 2 weeks to teach me a lesson.

Me: Definitley not, I feel like I would have used that for reasoning to do alot worse things as a teenager.

mom: Yes, you might regret asking me that later so best to probably ask me later – get me drunk.
me: you don’t drink.
mom: Au contraire little one — $20 comedy club was not that long ago . . .
me: i’ll go buy the cheapest wine i can find then i suppose and get you drunk.
then maybe i can find out what that big secret is that you won’t tell me, and you were supposed to tell me before i got married.
mom: . . . get a BIG bottle of cheap wine . . .
or some Vodka collins’s
me: will do.
mom: Maybe I’ll just leave a note attached to my Will . . .
me:rude.
mom: ha ha ha
I’m just putting it off because you might get really pissed and I could not deal with that right now. so, yeah, get me drunk and if you get pissed then maybe I’ll die and I won’t know you are pissed but you will still have all my money so then if you have the money maybe you won’t be so pissed . . .

Backstory: My mom sent out one of those friends test that ask you to put a check next to the things you’ve done.  

Mom: AWWWWW!  You made prank calls, skipped school, and went skinny dipping! I’m shooooooooooocked!

Me: Not as shocked as I was to find out that YOU went skinny dipping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom: Heeeheee!