Hi Babe,
There is a family in the end house and they’re sweet, talkative to the max, but very sweet.  The mutants remain
Yeah, we were sort of expecting the Obama win here…disappointed, but we’ll just have to see how it pans out…there was a big run on the gun stores before the election here [...]

Me:  the younger sister is pregnant?
Mom:  yes.
Me:  why didnt she use birth control like meee?  haaha
Mom:  oh my god

Dana,
Can you check Bobby’s away message and tell him:
1. No drinking during the work week. The wkds are for that, that’s why it’s the wkd, so you don’t go to your employer smelling like booze, hung over, risking you job.
2. Don’t put an away message up that might offend someone. If that girl see’s or [...]

Just because your brother is having problems at school does NOT give you permission to have a baby or marry a bum or anything like that to counterbalance it, just so you know.

SaRAH JUST INFORMED ME I ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. WELL SHE ANNOYS ME TOO! GOOD NIGHT K Dinners ready. Mom

So, not only did I fail to teach you how to put on makeup, but also failed to teach you how to use cleaning products. And you are the woman who gave Martha’s Housekeeping to me.
However, the fact that you are cleaning the bathroom with anything proves that you remain unlike your brother and you [...]

Mom: yes, your little sister’s new college roomie seems nice. she’s from a large catholic family in minnesota, so you don’t need to worry about her getting into all that ‘goth stuff’.

I made zack get up yesterday and clean up all of his stuff and pack it up. it was all over the living room and the houskeepers came.  he said i kicked him out of the house.  this isn’t true.  he doesn’t want to live here if he has to pick up his guitar hero.  [...]

I have not been able to get ahold of your brother.  Haven’t talked to him in over a week.  Last night he called to say he was in town.  I told him great because the guest room was all clean and ready.  Then, he informed me that he would be staying with his girlfriend.  I [...]

It will probably come saturday or monday so you can buy monistat external cream if you are uncomfortable in the meantime. Call me if u have any questions.
I am getting the gray out of my hair this morning. This afternoon is my nails.-what a life, eh?? Not to mention all the unpacking laundry around the [...]

I saw that [redacted] fellow sent you a silly email at 2:30 AM.  How sad.
I think he is crying out to be accepted by you.  I think you should invite him over for a bbq and let him know he doesn’t need to be successful or funny or even smart, to be your friend - [...]

Backstory: “I received this from my mom after my brother got a DUI. Both of us are over 25, but I suppose I’m in trouble, too?!”
I shouldn’t have to find out that my son got a DUI from the local newspaper. Please come over soon so that we can discuss.
Mom