A repository of modern day maternal correspondence
Backstory: My mom hangs onto old catch phrases like Mariah and mini skirts. Favorites include: Waazup?, “And I kick her sir” a line from FernGully, and “I can’t back that up” from Seinfield.
I have three writing projects to get done this week…WV, WTC and write a play for Marquette. Hello Moto! xoxomom
Mom: Isn’t camel toe an inappropriate reference
Me: yes
Mom: refering to the genital area?
Me: yes
Me: why?
Mom: OK I threw a kid out of class for saying it repeatedly
Me: yeah that was a good call
Laura & I are going to the Mary J. Blige concert tonight. I got free tickets from work. $77 a ticket. Amber wanted me to give her the tickets but I told her Laura & I will wear our thug out clothes so we fit in. She corrected me with “it’s thugged out, mom, not [...]
Mom: hey chickie
Mom: made meatballs.
what more can a poor working girl want
than her mama’s company
Me: did you just call me a prostitute?
Mom: no, those are skanky working girls, with a tramp stamp
you have a stamp, but not in the trampy spot
Me: oh man alive.
Mom: but don’t want to see you and j cupcaking
Me: what does that [...]
Backstory: we’re going on a family vacation to London and Paris and Virgin sent us the wrong tickets.
I just talked to the village idiots over at Virgin and reminded them that I ain’t no punk. Anyways, they gave me a tracking number for our package. Girrrrrrrl, our shiznick is in Charlotte, NC and it’s not [...]
Your room looks nice - make sure you check the heating unit doesn’t get blocked by the sheets. Your bed looks good higher, what’s under it?
Dad says you wish you had a rug. Hmmm, time for an ITYS*.
love you,
Mom
*Mom lingo for I told you so.
Hey, i just heard a really good new slang signoff.. im off like a prom dress! he he im gonna use it
Mom: my bad, as they say.
Me: Tru dat, as they say.
Mom: That’s how I roll….I’m a ding dong.
HT Son, I just stumbled across page two of the list of abbreviations. VBG. TU. IMS to fill your e-mail box. TA. TTYL. NRN but I don’t mean that! I just wanted to use another abbreviation! MOM