Covering All the Bases

Me: There is a HUGE storm here. They canceled classes and work sent everyone home early. I’m safely tucked away at Panera doing homework.
Mom: Geez! Glad you’re safe. Is Panera close to home?????? It’s crazy here too, but not as bad as there. It’s been thundering and lightening all day. I haven’t gone out. Be safe. Stay warm. Don’t text while driving. And don’t do drugs. Love M

Snow Day for Mom’s Ass

Backstory: it’s snowing like mad here and I’m at work.

My ass is staying home. I’m calling in snow sick. When does your ass get to go home? Let me know when your ass gets there.

New Year Shoe Concern

Mom: May I suggest boots/sturdy shoes for the walk tonight from your car to my front door? Sorry if this offends you, but I don’t want you to lose a pair of shoes. The snow that was there this morning may melt into ice or just freeze in place. Either way, it will be wet. Please place a rawhide in your pocket to leave with me for Archie. I checked my supplies this morning, and that’s all I need. Thanks.
Me: I’ve been wearing snowboots every time I step outside. Thank you for your concern.
Mom: I apologized in advance for my comment. Please remember the rawhide.

What You Missed on Christmas

Backstory: Bad weather prevented us from traveling across the state to my parents’ house for Christmas this weekend, so my mom took it upon herself to let me know about the festivities I missed out on.

We decided not to open our gifts (not that they were wrapped) until you and Jeff are here (I’m not getting anything anyway, I’m pretty sure).  Grandma called and you called and that has been a round up of our festive day.  Oh, I took a nap.  Your dad took a crap.  The end.



Snowed in at the Bar

Me: Why are you @ the bar?  Isn’t it snowing?
Mom: I’m here for the nite!
Me: You’re at the bar for the night?  like snowed in?
Mom: havin a burger a brew n a ball – shveaty ball

Weather Wusses

mom: get this, we had less than an inch of snow and they put out a level one snow emergency
mom: dorks
me: haha
me: that’s nice

Love, Mom