IS THIS THE NEW GIRLFRIEND????
mom: IS THIS THE NEW GIRLFRIEND???? SHES CUTE
me: yes, it is
me: and she’s jewish!
mom: SHE LOOKS IT I WAS GOING TO ASK YAY. SHE LOOKS NICER THAN THE OTHER ONES…
me: MOM!
mom: OK PRETEND I DIDNT SAY THAT. I DONT EVEN WANT TO MEET HER BECAUSE YOULL JUST BREAK UP SOON ANYWAY
me: mom!!
mom: HAHA ENOUGH FOR [...]