Are You Sure You’re Not Pregnant?

Backstory: I got a big tattoo on my back, and my mother was always against tattoos. So, naturally I was very nervous to tell her, and did not tell her about it for a month or so. Also, I recently broke off my engagement, and was single at the time, which she constantly talked about.

Me: Mom, there is something I have to tell you.
Mom: Are you getting married?
Me: No, just listen. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, and it is very important to me.
Mom: You are pregnant!
Me: No, mom
Mom: You have a boyfriend!
Me: Mom, i’m trying to tell you something!
Mom: You already got married?
Me: NO!
Mom: So you are pregnant!
Me: Mom?
Mom: I thought you were pregnant. Are you sure you’re not pregnant?

Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit!!

I just had to write to you.  Just go ahead and butter my butt and call me a biscuit!!  Guess who was arrested and taken into custody for attempting to solicit someone to kill his wife?  The Popo have him.  Mike Y!!!  Remember him.  Of eyeglass fame and tattoo parlors?  And flashy suits?

His wife is shocked, and in despair the (the news) people are saying.  She had not idea.   Supposedly, they are separated and waiting for a divorce and he ups and tries to have her killed for $10,000.  And, when they asked him what he wanted to say to his customers he said, Well, stick by me!!!  I guess we’ll have to wait for the outcome.  You just never know.

Catherine, I’m sorry about the typos.  But, I’m a little tired and I’m sewing and Daddy keeps walking through the house with his guns which he says need cleaning.  He does this every Sat. night and how dirty can they get in a weeks time?  Like, I said, you never know………Mom/Nana

Style Tips: Jean Shorts and Tattoos

I ordered some new shoes–BOOTS!!  The low-cut ones (great with jeans).  But I was thinking I would get some jeans-shorts where the inseam is 2 inches,  some sweat socks, and a flannel shirt.  Maybe a tattoo on my calf that says “Yo Momma” or “Semper Fi.”

How Mom REALLY Feels About Tattoos

Hi — I’m sorry but I just have to revisit the idea of tattoos because I’m still having nightmares about tattooed bodies. I am having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that you really want to do this. The way I see it, you’re branding yourself as a certain type of person, when in fact you are many more things and will continue to grow in many more ways. This is a permanent statement which unfortunately many people won’t be able to get beyond and will stereotype you before you ever have an opportunity to have them get to know you. I’m not saying it’s fair – the way people think. Or, that it’s their loss for being so narrow minded. It’s also your fault for putting them in that position. Well, maybe you don’t want to associate with those that think that way. HOWEVER, you are shutting out people who may be lovely, too. If I feel it is an uneducated, unsympathetic, hard-core look – and I know you’re not that way, others won’t. Think about the people who you have yet to meet who would love you if they get past the first impression; of prospective employers who may not hire you based on appearance; of people who mistrust your judgment. There are other, unpermanent ways to make statements, with clothing and jewelry and make up – all things which can be changed to suit a mood or situation or opportunity – or even a change of heart! I am a believer in keeping options open. please reconsider.

Bald…tattoos? What?????

Mom: Bald…tattoos? What?????
Me: Relax. He likes to express his individuality.
He talked me into getting one too. On my a**.
Mom: You know those tattoos have a way of expanding, or elongating or
whatever the case may be!!!
Me: Why are you re-reading the email I sent you on Monday?
Mom: I am rereading it to see if I see any more “clues” as to this person’s
Me: Why, you gonna Google him???
Mom: If I knew how to google I would google.

Another Tattoo? REALLY?

At this rate you will be covered in tattoos before you are 30.  At least for the larger ones (forearm) might I suggest that you wait maybe 6 months before doing it or at least 3 months?  Huh?

Scouting For Your Baby Daddy

mom: I was talking to this nice guy at work today Gee i wish he didnt have a girlfriend…was he cute and the nicest person
mom: he thought you were very pretty
me: omg why were you showing someone my picture?
mom: nbd
me: are you making up your own abbreviations?
mom: no big deal
mom: YES!!!!LOL
mom: he is very cute though
mom: If i was only 23 again
mom: he’s tall, thin, muscular with some arm tattos, black very short hair and big brown eyes
mom: I was looking at him today and thinking you guys would make awesome kids
me: you did not just say that
mom: I know the thought was fleeting

Thoughts on the New Tattoo

Hi Sweetie,

don’t think I’ve not been in touch cos you had a tattoo. I have in fact been off sick this week (full of a cold) and didn’t come in to work.

Naturally, I think it was a really bad idea but it’s your body after all. What was it? A bleeding heart, a dragon or the word ‘mother’ written across your chest? Never mind, it’ll serve you well if you ever want a job on a building site.

How are things with you?

Tattoo? Love you anyway!

Backstory: I got a tattoo and told my mom via an email that said “Guess what I did??” with the picture attached.

EEEEEEEEK!  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?  Did it hurt?  Are you nuts?  etc! Etc! Etc!  PS: I love you anyway! Talk to you later!

Love, Mom