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Backstory: I ended up owing the government some money due to filing my taxes wrong. This was my mother’s advice.
Yes, tax debacles can be problematic. Hopefully, if you take a page from Anne of Green Gables, you won’t make that mistake again. Positive imagery. Have a piece of meat (I’m reading your joy of chemistry book. I forgot about it for awhile), you must have a pork chop someplace.
Mom: Sometime soon will u look in your glovr
Me: ? I don’t have a glovr?
Mom: Glove box and see if u can find out how mu h sales taz I paid when I bought your carr
Mom: I think I cqn take if off my yaxes
Mom: Taxes
Me: Are you having a seizure?
Mom: No, holding a smoke.
Mom: Don’t forget to do your taxes! They’re due April 15th!
Me: I know, I already did them and mailed them out.
Mom: Really? I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!
Me: For doing my taxes?
Mom: YES!!! SO PROUD!!!
Me: You do realize I have a Ph.D. and managed to become a professor right out of grad school, right?
Mom: Yeah, yeah, finished early, way ahead of your peer, award-winning….but you’ve never done your own taxes before! SO PROUD!
Backstory: I have lived in Austria for ten years, my Mum is in the UK. She knows nothing about the tax system in Austria, nor does she have any idea what I earn, so the figures are just completely made up.
Mum: As you will be half way through the tax year when you stop working at the end of September you might find that you get some tax back, probably about £500. Or they might make you pay less tax.
Me: ? I haven’t paid any tax in the UK since 1999.
Mum: I mean in Austria.
Me: The system is completely different. You needn’t worry that I don’t know these things.
Mum: Well, just saying. I don’t know what you know.
Me: I know everything.
Mum: I thought so!
Mum: Oh and don’t send me any more text messages, they’re expensive.
mom: hey, mija, how r u doing honey i don’t know what is going on you’re acting so different so distant i know that your brothers and I aren’t a big part of your family, i still want to know how you are and for you to know that we love you–all I ask is that you tell me how you are.
me: Mom, it’s tax season. I’m working 75 hour weeks. I don’t even talk to my husband.
mom: I love you, mija. God bless u.
I am sending you this message from my iPod!!!! I am so “with it”!!
Do you have any interest income for 2008?
Love, Mum
Backstory: after I sent my mom an e-mail bragging about filing my own taxes for the first time, she replied with the bad news that just this week a tax document for about additional income had been mailed to my parents’ address (rather than my own). Now I’m stuck either a) defrauding the government or b) trying to amend my return.
That’ll teach you to try to be proactive and on time with taxes! Better to do like me and Dad and wait until the dead last day to file. We think it’s a good test of our marriage vows. Love ya, Mom
