Google was Already Taken, I Guess.

Backstory: My mom started a beautification committe in the west end of her town (West End Beautification), and since then I have become her de facto administrative assistant. Every day I get a new email or text with a request like this.

I want to get a website. Please check the availability of the domain name Thanks. Mom.

Patience Is a Virtue

Backstory: I got impatient while trying to give my mom computer support.

I learned all by myself. Yea me.  It’s a good thing I had more patience that you do, you might still not be potty-trained.

What Is This Download Thing?

Backstory: Mom is a big scrapbooker. She is constantly asking for photos, so I send them to her as they come in, or compile them for her. She also checks facebook for my photo albums and friend’s photo albums. Tonight she was working on a scrapbook page, but for an event several months ago.

Mom: I am frustrated because I have pix from so many different places..facebook, your friend’s facebook, i-phone, drop box, then that other photo place you put pictures in…..maybe in can put all the pictures in one place for me…


Me: then next time you should just download them when you get them and put them in your specific folder. Then later, you don’t have to look for them.
Mom: first of all I do not know how to do this download thing.


Apologies For Being Sooooooo Ignorant

Let’s talk on the phone, please, about facebook.
So, I signed on because info about CPE’s 35th reunion was on it.  Instantly, something like 300 people wanted to be my friend and I ignored all of it.  Now, I can’t retrieve Maud’s  photos of her middle east trip.  She’s a “friend”of yours – can you retrieve them and send them along to me, or do I have to do something else and what do I have to do?  Apologies for being sooooooooooooo ignorant. xxoo

Swallow After Reading

Can you email me how to save something from my excel file to a disk?  I don’t want anyone here to know how dumb I am.
Thanks.  Please swallow this email after you read it.

Just a Brief Tutorial

Backstory: I sent my mom the youtube link to the trailer of a movie coming out that we had both read the book of -we’ve been looking forward to our first glimpse of the movie for months!

Well hello daughter, Maybe someday when you are visiting you can give me a brief tutorial on how a person over 50 would open/turn on/find the trailer that you think you sent to me. I found about 9 million versions with people’s names under it and a reprimand from my computer to update my Java something and a bunch of unasked for opinions on the trailer. Obviously I did not get to see the trailer yet. Thanks anyway, the Dinosaur (probably a T Rex, your momma)XXOO

The Dangers of Technology

Backstory: Louis is my big fat cat. And earlier in the day we were discussing how children today are becoming less social because there are too many self stimulating technological toys on the market that encourage limited human interaction.

me: if you call my phone right now i think louis is sitting on it and it’d be funny
mom: put it on vibrate and he’ll stimulate himself
mom: or pee on it
me: when you call from the main line it meows. it’d be funny. lol
mom: naw — i don’t want to scare him
me: i do!! ;)

Success inte nun

Text #1:
So pleased to hear about laura bob that the shelves are a success inte nun

Text #2:
So pleased to hear about laura bob that the shelves are a success love mum

Text #3:
So pleased to hear about laura bob that the shelves are a success kmmum

I’m a techno-dufous

me: hi mom!!! happy new year!!!
mom: right back at you sugar.
me: this is great – we’re gchatting! :)
mom: I never in a million years expected this to happen.
me: what, gchatting?
mom: yes, I’m a techno-dufous and not fast enough to do this. am working on clearing my study today. Now I have to clearn up the room, cuz there are CDs all over. I ordered a new CD storage system, so have to clear and clean in anticipation of that arriving.
me: next i’m teaching you to text message :)
mom: This is too weird. Did you have a nice NY Eve?
me: you’re not a techno dufous!! you’re g-chat savvy now!
mom: yeah, just color me hip. Big wide hips.

The Nonedible What?!

You are the first person to receive an email from me…ever. Not really, I sent one at the book warehouse for Jake before. You are the first nonbusiness to receive an email from me. Always remember, polka dots are the nonedible limes of life. MOM

Paranoia Sets In

I am a paranoid nut, I admit.  But I want a Time Life oldies/goodies collection off of the TV.  But law enforcement says don’t order off of TV  infomercials as the orders are taken by state prison inmates.  How can I get these without having to give up my info to crooks?  What would I do without you?  Thank you for being so much smarter than I am???  And for being so tolerant of a looney mom?

don’t leave me ALONE, please

Thank you, my beautiful baby, my favorite lawyer, my pride, my only reason for living up until now (I don’t know about when you have kids).

Thanks for helping me with my legal issue, don’t leave me ALONE, please

Thank your husband, take care of yourselves and love each other .

When is Ali’s wedding??


iPhones And Raw Eggs

Backstory: I am thinking about getting an iphone, and I have a history of breaking computers/cell phones. My mom clearly thinks I cannot handle the responsibility.

remember the activity about carrying  around a raw egg for 3 days
the iphone is like that   haha

also with your ADD- can you stay on task and away from all of its entertaiment offerings?

only you know the answer to that

look at all the high end phones and make a decision

I know just enough to be dangerous.

Oh yes, the ‘blog and me’. My email attempt remains there, meaning my email address and name. It wouldn’t let me submit without a web address (?) so I deleted my message. However, it wouldn’t let me ‘take back my email address’ so it’s still there. This is no doubt a simple matter, which tells you how little I know about the computer. I love using it, but have little to no idea beyond the necessary. I know just enough to be dangerous. o_o

Adventures in Skype-ing

me: yes, I can hear you but I can also hear you breathing directly into the mic – LOUD!

mom: but I am not even breathing……!

me: Uhh…….

mom: seriously, I have been holding my breath the entire time

Love, Mom
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