Backstory: My parents, brother and grandparents have been planning this trip to go whitewater rafting.  A few days before the trip, my mom sends my brother and I this reminder.

Please don’t forget to bring sneakers. And underwear. For tennis. PLEASE CONFIRM RECEIPT sincerely- Mom

I think you should visit Europe in the Spring.  They have lousy weather in the winter.  I also think you should try to have a baby.  Love Mom

Backstory: I e-mailed my mom to tell her I’d be driving 4.5 hours alone to another state because my boyfriend can’t go anymore. I’m 24.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we’ll buy you a plane ticket!
help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I gotta get off the computer!
Help!
Oh no!
panic attack
young woman should not drive long distance on highway alone!
alert alert!
danger danger!
friend!
buddy! paqrtner!
help!
call [dad]!
[dad] will hep!
danger danger
alert alert!

Thanks for the info.  I particularly like the “luxury coach with a bathroom” – yippee!!
Call me before you leave if you get a chance – if not I’ll check in with you over the weekend.
This sounds like so much fun.
Now the mother-announcement again – have fun, be careful, no going off with the natives, stay with people from the group, no bam-bam, probably only bottled water and bring pepto-bismol tablets!!!

love you – mom

Backstory: I spent a year backpacking and I called my mum all excited about a great guy I met. This was part of her response.

I had a dream last night about you and babies! Which prompts me to STRESS that now that you are a Loose Woman you absolutely don’t want, or should I say I don’t want you to become a surprised statistic. You know the ones that never think it can happen to them and then finds themselves pregnant. In this day and age there is no reason for that to happen.

I think it would be a good time to get onto the pill, and the added benefit is that your periods become less! Yippee! A good effect.

Time is flying past. Before we know it we will be home with smiles on our faces and many wonderful memories to keeps us satisfied over the winter. We have many new friends to stay in touch with and will hopefully see again.

Speaking of staying in touch, that’s a great idea. Why don’t you try it

Backstory: My family is Polish and my mom is currently spending a few months in Warsaw. We email back and forth daily, and the above email came just the other day with the word “cyce” (boobs, in Polish) in the subject heading. I translated this little jewel from Polish for your reading pleasure.

I watched a program about how to select bras. A bra should be sufficiently tight around your bust such that the side panels and metal supports fall under your armpits and don’t bisect your breast, creating folds under your armpits (those folds that frazzle us in dressing rooms). When you put a bra on you should use your hand to scoop up all the excess skin from under your armpits and into the cup of the bra (this is our “lost” bust). Boobs become a size larger and the folds under your armpits disappear. I checked, and all my bras are now too small.

So, after we left you on Friday night, back at the campground I realized I had forgotten to bring along my contact lens case,  No problem, because teaspoons will substitute nicely, in an Emergency.  Unfortunately, Dad had cereal for breakfast, and ate my left lens.  He’s such a fun, alert guy to hang out with!

Backstory: I sent my mom a travel itinerary and got this reply.  She looooooves Zicam but the FDA just advised people to stop using it at risk of losing your sense of smell.

Thanks honey! WOW what fun! Take the Zicam with you anyway (damn the FDA). Grab it TONITE while you can get it!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH – Mommy xxxxxxxooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooooooxxxxxxxx

Hi all,

\we  are now in \Amsterdam.  we had a great time inBRUSELLS, MUCH TO TELL. NOT WHAT WE EXPECTED, A PLEASANT SURPRISE PLUS OUR SIDE TRIPS WERE AMAZING.  THE TRAIN RIDE, FIRST CLASS, WAS SO
MUCH FUN EXCEPT WE ARE LUCKY WE DID NOT GET THROWN OFF.  WE AREIN AMSTERDAM AND FOR
ALL THE CHILDREN WE HAVE DECIDED TO SMOKE A DOOBIE (THATS WHAT THEY CALL A JOINT) And
film ourselves every 10 minuetes, it shoud be quite funny.  well i will email again.

hope all is well, we are having a great time thus far.

we love you all

Backstory: We live in Texas and my mom is going to visit a friend in Alabama. This is the first time she will be traveling with a cell phone.

How are you? I had fun witchu yesterday. I will miss you for 11 days, but you can still text me. If you want to. Or call. I think they have phone service in Alabama. Or do they? Send me a message by courier possum!!
Love MOM

Backstory: My mom and stepdad went to California for their anniversary and trusted my stoner stepbrother to show them around.

going to san fran today
fucking hippies are dirty …in the woods with Pot….cold..doing the tor thing today

Backstory: My mom has been traveling (aka eating and drinking her way) around Europe with her boyfriend, and this was the last entry on her travel blog.

PS Did you know you can buy Botox over the counter here? Wonder if the syringes would set off any alarms at the airport? Now if they just had a home kit for liposuction. I would really be in business!