wow… so little time, so many baths! What’s up with these baths anyway? Are they ceremonial or something? Don’t you have to bathe before you get in them? Don’t they have showers? What if you start bleeding (like a sieve) in the bath?
you mean to tell me that they don’t have tampons in japan?
go into a store and to a pantomine about getting your period….. hahahaha remember when you first went to germany and got a yeast infection and i told you to go to the apothecare and do that and you were furious with me… and i couldn’t stop laughing… kind of like right now…hahahahahaha omg hahahahahaha

Sometimes there are crazy people riding a bus. Sit near the front. Keep your valuables with you if you go potty. Text me when you leave & arrive. Have fun!!

Love you,
Mom

Hello people,

Just letting you know that I am smarter than I was this morning. Love the hotel room but hate the loud neighbors who listen to country music all night. And from the noises I think they are Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson reincarnates. YIKES! Oh well. I hope they are gone tonight or at least filmed it to make money. Keith has all of my numbers. I am in room 437 now but that might change depending on whether the above activities continue.

Miss you guys.
mom

Backstory: I am living with a host family while I spend this semester abroad in Argentina.

HEY L,
HAPPY EASTER’…….JUST AN EXCUSE TO
SAY, ‘I MISS YOU’ AND I LOVE YOU.’…..
SO, WHAT DO THEY (ARGENTINIANS) , IF ANYTHING, FOR EASTER DINNER?.
AND, WHAT KIND OF FOOD ARE YOU EXPERIENCING THERE……ANYTHING YOU WANT
TO BRING HOME TO COOK???? GET RECIPES…
ARE YOU , SO FAR, ENJOYING ARGENTINA?? YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS??? CLASSES??
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN THERE?
WE THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME…….WHAT’S THE GIRLY DOING????

hi from mexico got a great honeymoon suite upgrade because i complain balcony ocean view sleek everything big flat screen tv hbo the works i am away and still tv makes me happy it is hot hot hot we are going swimming with the dolphins massage and facials cheap not because i complained but another hotel wants us to spend 1hour and we can eat all day and do all of the above for 50.oo total email me also have wireless in room ..earthquake in italy farrah cancer spread to liver we have hbo and cnn and e all in english keep me informed let me know about dancing with stars poor farrah

This card is to be used for emergency only. An emergency is NOT 1)Needing a latte and a Snickers bar at a gas station 2)Buying a souviner tshirt at the site of the worlds largest frying pan.

1)Use this card to get AAA immediately.
2)Get a triptik immediately. Do not take direction from anyone or mapquest. You will hand this card over to me when you get here.
See ya soon.
Mommie Dearest

Backstory: My parents were on vacation in St. Barths…

Ladies,
Donatella was on the beach yesterday and I have to say it was one of the worst things I have ever seen…hanging fried skin on a skeleton with two hard melons glued to her chest and a face that looked like that of a burn victim from plastic surgery and injections. Hope the viewings improve today.
Love Mom

Backstory: I am a student going to China for a week; in preparation for the trip, my mom sent periodic instructions about what to do and not to do, which included eating only “candy bars, American candy bars.” Also, I am 28.

While in China:
Don’t drink the water!
Don’t eat the food!
Don’t talk to strangers!
Don’t get near any birds!
But have a good time.
Love,
Mom

Are you OK? Some one told me last night about a murder in Belgium. Apparently some guy went crazy and shot somebody?? Just respond so I know that you are OK. I know, I’m neurotic. Thanks for the B-day card!

Love and miss you, Mom

Backstory: this was a public response my mother made to the blog I’m keeping of my time in Geneva, Switzerland. The Schtroumpfs is a cluster of buildings meant to look like they were inspired by The Smurfs (Les Schtroumpfs is what they were called in French). She basically thinks everything in Geneva is the red-light district, but I think she’s confusing Geneva for Amsterdam. Not sure.

Hi, it’s Mom. It’s almost like being there. I do resent your taunts about “why aren’t you visiting too.” Seriously, love the photos…especially the Schtroumpfs! How fun! I’d love to live there. Please tell me they aren’t all in use for the sex trade.

Backstory: my parents are on vacation in Aruba with friends, sending daily updates and checking in my on brother, sister and me. This is the most recent update…
As your father prepares our emergency evacuation plan I am psyched to hear you’re coming home early. Let us know the date.
In case you’re all wondering why Dad is preparing an evacuation plan, the fire alarm has gone off twice (requiring two, count them two, descents down 14 fights of stairs the second one at 11-20 pm our time). He just placed his shoes at prime access, wet two face cloths for us to cover our faces (just in case), told me in no uncertain terms I WAS to get out of bed even if it was 3 am despite the front desk telling us it was just a valve issue (peg and ed did not do the second descent- calling the front desk instead) and also made sure I understood that the women and children first adage only applied if I was fast enough to get out in front of him!!!
So wish me luck on getting any sleep tonight!!! ANdrew- where is my email response???? I expect one tomorrow. ANd good night to you Jamie and LaLa. Love and miss you all, Mom

How’s it hanging toots? I want to hear how your first day went.  Emz showed me a couple pictures of you on  the computer from Prague (nothing bad),  You look good, Happy and relaxed or drunk I can’t tell so I’ll go with happy and a little buzzed.  This winter sucks so much weather wise.  It snowed heavy twice this week and it’s colder than a frozen douche.  Sorry I couldn’t resist. I was thinking the other day, I know now the world is in real danger now.  Wow , how egotistical is that statement? Life has a habit of becoming what happens to us not what we do. At the risk of sounding like dad “do unto life before it does unto you.” You know it would be funny if after years of Lollyism I turned into a spaceship carrying Scientologist. Thinking back on it, that’s their second commandment after honor L Ron Hubbard and all his cross dressing friends (not that there is any thing wrong with that).  Guess what you just called. Gotta go Lilly is on the phone.  love mom

Got pulled over by the police in Corinth for something ridiculus!!!My license was bent up and he couldn’t see the state until close to me.. He give me a warning , had a smile on his face the whole time!  He gave me his pen to write my name, then I dropped it and couldn’t find it so he had to get in the car and look for it with his big spotlight!  LOL!  Angela saw me on the side of the road too!!!! Excitement.  Thank God he didn’t notice my inspection sticker was expired and that the insurance card was an old one!  LOL!

Have a great day!

Have fun in Argentina this weekend. Make good decisions. Remember you’re a Child of God. Please be safe. Oh, and don’t take too many shots of tequila….

Me: where are you staying?
Mom: in a non-descriptive no chain travel place dipped in hell.

oh sweety I wish I could cuddle up with you
love has such a way with our hearts
think of all the poetry music paintings etc that have been created out of love loss and heartbreak
it is the universal language
be strong yet gentle with both your hearts
be forgiving and strong altogether
I am blessed to have you for a daughter and sad but true I know a little about heartbreak……………..

and a different note we spent the most spectacular day at Sanitarian
my dream come true
mama Mia!
tomorrow naphlio and the Athens

Hi
TRIED TO GET YOU A LITTLE  WHILE AGO BUT YOUR PHONE ACTED LIKE IT WAS DEAD. IT WENT RIGHT TO VOICEMAIL.  I WAS AT DOLLAR GENERAL THIS AM AND THEY HAD BIG BOTTLES OF BORIC ACID. GET A PLASTIC SPOON AND CARELFULLY SPRINLE SOME IN THAT CRACK ALL ALONG THE BACK OF THE COUNTER . I THINK THAT WILL HELP ALOT. I WILL GET THAT RECIPE FOR YOU, ITHINK VICKI AND PETE WENT TO THE ISLAND TIL MONDAY NIGHT

LOVE, MOM