How Twitter Works

Mom: could I follow Lady Gaga on Twitter?
Me: Yes
Mom: Will she follow me?

Educational Advice

Backstory: I wasn’t looking forward to grading a stack of essays.

You should tell them just to write a short sentence. Like a twitter!

She needs to twitter this crap.

OK, since I’m now a friend with Anna, do I have to read every random thought and minute action she takes during the day every time I open my account? How tedious. She needs to twitter this crap. Tell me how I can avoid this, if it’s possible.

Twitter the Dog?

Me: Do you have Twitter yet?
Mom: No. I’m at your brother’s baseball game right now. Is he coming here?
Me: What?
Mom: What is Twitter? I thought you were talking about your dog.
Me: His name isn’t even Twitter. Doesn’t even SOUND like it.
Mom: Oh.

Mom Discovers Twitter (Thanks to Oprah)

I did read your twitter about Gold Medal Liquors on your credit card.  Not good.   Be careful, booze can put on weight.   Your genes/jeans know expansion.

Do You Tweet?

mom: hey, how r u today? do you tweet? i have no idea how to get tweeting………sounds like some people are addicting to whatever it is. i guess i shouldn’t bother bec i don’t need to get addicted to some other ridiculous hobby like that.
me: hahaha. where did you hear the term “tweeting?”
mom: on tv this morning. just asks the question, “what are you doing?” who cares i suppose……seems weird to me but what do i know. i’m just hanging out and trying to stay out of the way of getting into having to do something. so just relaxing.

Mom the Twitter Slut

Mom: ok
i will let anyone follow me, i’m a twitter-slut
me: if you want to be a real twitter slut, don’t protect your updates
Mom: i at least use a condom

Potato, Potahto.

I’m not sure if I’m Tweeting or Twatting, what’s the difference?

Love, Mom