Me: So I got kinda drunk last night.
Mom: Oh yea? What did it take you, one or two drinks?
Me: No, I can drink more now that I’m off that medicine.
Mom: Oh so you can drink like a sailor again?
Me: Yea
Mom: Well that’s good

Mom: u ever heard of the phrase “boiled as an owl?”
Me: no…
Mom: there’s a guy in the online cribbage room here, so i googled the boiled thingy ’cause that was his user name
Mom: and it’s slang for REAL drunk lol
Mom: i got boiled as an owl last night!
Me: uh…really? you did? or is that just [...]

Backstory: All three children the e-mail was sent to no longer live at home and are of legal drinking age.
Children,
While cleaning the area under the garage I came across a disney backpack with six or so full bottles of michelob light beer bottles. I have the chilling in the fridge now.
love
mom

Do you know what a “bong” is?  I’m reading a police report that came in and have no idea what that is.

Mom: she [the boss] sent him home yesterday. he got off probation on wed so he smoked the W and was puking his guts up all over the street
Me:  umm get out
Mom:  well he is a VERY bad boy
even thought he keeps telling me he’s a man I keep telling him then he needs to [...]

I have no problem with your language.  In fact I am quite elated to know that you are such an invovled and thoughtful person.  You will never need my approval to speak your mind.  No matter what your mind thinks.  i love your energy!  Stay fearless!

You know that blog that you and Martha showed me….the pot one.. Did you know you could be a commentator on that or something like that. One of Martha’s friends applied and got it. I thought you and/or Steve would be good at that too.

Me: i’m going to need to take that dining room table off your hands this weekend.  hope that’s ok.
Mom: that’s fine. do you need it for something?
Me: Elizabeth and i are having a party next weekend and we need it for beer pong.
Mom: what????
Me: that game i just explained to you with the cups of [...]

Mom: What are you doing for fun?
Me: I was going to see an outside movie with friends yesterday, but it got canceled so we went to a bar.
Mom: Is that what you do, go to bars?
Me: Uh, that’s what there is in Williamsburg.
Mom: Are you becoming a heavy drinker?
Me: I couldn’t afford that.
Mom: That’s the [...]

Interesting picture of you on your my spacepage.  So how long have you smoked pot???????????//
Just so you know, potential employers will look to see if you have a myspace page. I’m not sure you’d really want them to see this.  Nice URL Address: penis envy………………great
Mom

I’ve been buying frames for the family room and am trying to fill them with travel pictures.  Could you please send me a few favorites of your European vacations as well as Katies trip to san Fran?   know I’m a pain, but I don’t have any of these.  I did, however, finally go through the [...]

25 cent pbr at the rhino club on sundays! Of course you probably dont want to frequent there but i thought of you when i saw it.

I just read the paper and in the sports section LeBron James is in Las Vagas getting ready for the Olympics.  YOU might get to see him.  He sprained his right ankle, if you see him hobble by try and get his autograph.  Tell him I saw him play in Akron when he was in [...]

Hey, Did you take the gin….Dad was looking for it this afternoon.
Love and Prayers
MOM

Backstory: I have my prescription for medical marijuana.  I told the doctors assistant not to send the ID card to the address on my license.  Unfortunately she didn’t listen and sent the ID card to my mothers house.
I have a medical marijuana card for you.  Hmmmmm.  Don’t you think it’s time to quit?  Pot & [...]

We are really going to miss you when you leave for college.  But dont worry your father and I will now have an opportunity to do all the things we weren’t able to do when you were around d****, s**, and rock and roll.
Love Mom

Backstory: My mother has a habit of taking solo “adventures” to the most mundane places, then writing about them in excruciating detail.
Yesterday was fun.  I went to “Q-Jam”, a free concert in downtown Albuquerque.  The concert was really good.   The first was a blue/rock band called Indigenous which very much reminds me of Big Head [...]

Backstory: The only backstory is that my Mom is 5′3”, bakes apple pies, and knits in her spare time. And apparently, drinks heavily
Sounds like your going to be crazy busy, that’s they way it should be though.  Being bored can drive you to drink, that’s why I’m a LUSH these days!!!

Backstory: I’m deployed overseas with the Army
I was really sorry I missed your call for my birthday. Thanks for the picture disk; sorry I haven’t gotten one off to you. I can’t believe with Linda here I completely spaced on picking your things up at the armory. I’m going to try to make it there [...]

Hi,
I wanted to let you know that I’m home from the dentist, and everttying went well. I;m not even going to spellchech this cause I am really out of it. I’m somewhat still flying with all the meds in me, I read your email, and I’m sure we can help this wekend. .
love from your [...]