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Backstory: Talking to my mother about my best friend still be a virgin at 24.
We should make her into a superhero…The Untouchable Heather and her Happy Hymen ..i think there is a huge market out there for virginal superheros.
Kiss,
Your creative mother.
Backstory: I’m the oldest of four, and my youngest brother, who’s 16, was coming to stay with me for a few weeks in San Francisco. The day before his flight, my mom and I were discussing what he should pack for his trip.
Me: make SURE you pack the deodorant
Mom: you better get a lot of air freshener
Me: ew
Mom: I knew you were going to say ew
don’t worry, he’s good about deodorant
Mom: should he check or carry on?
Me: carry on is easier
Mom: Right
remember we talked about little person, little clothes, little suitcase? Well, imagine your 6 ft brother. his pants take up half a suitcase
Just kidding
Me: tell him to bring some nice shirts
Mom: He lives in his basketball clothes
for better or worse
Me: those are fine for the gym
Mom: no. he wears them ALL the time
Me: but he needs clothes for going out
Mom: yeah. I’ll put it all together
make sure to watch him. I’ve guarded his virginity all these years… I’d hate to see him lose it in a few short days
Me: omg
Mom: what… SF is sin city, isn’t it?
Backstory: This was a card attached to a huge bouquet of flowers i received at my place of work exactly 1 year after i lost my virginity.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!
XOXO
Love,
Mom
