Aunt and Uncle of Wiccans

Backstory: My parents have been helping my elderly grandma move in with my aunt. My aunt is a super-conservative Christian who thinks Halloween is devil worship, by the way…

Your dad and I are coming home tonight! We wanted to skip rush hour. But we couldn’t wait another day. So when we come home at like 3 AM and the dogs make a big commotion, don’t worry, the house isn’t getting robbed. Guess what? Your cousin *** and her partner *** are WICCANS! She wanted to tell your aunt, but I told her not to do that right now, since your aunt is under a lot of stress taking care of Grandma. So, the aunt-of-Wiccans and uncle-of-Wiccans will be home late tonight! Wiccans forever! See you tomorrow! Love you!

Love, Mom