Postcards From Yo Momma » work http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com A repository of modern day maternal correspondence Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:00:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 Case of the Mondays http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/04/20/case-of-the-mondays/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/04/20/case-of-the-mondays/#comments Tue, 20 Apr 2010 13:30:52 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6144 I’ve had a crazy morning.  Went out to get the paper through the garage and somehow the door into the house locked behind me. So had to sit in the garage and wait till Dad got home from the YMCA to let me in.  My Cheerios were very soggy!  Then, I had to oversee the dumping of 4 yards of mulch on the driveway.  Followed by my desk falling apart (3 times) hitting me on the legs each time causing the keyboard and mouse to not work. Desk still broken, so I’m working on my lap, the floor and anyplace else I can find.
Not a good Monday!

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/04/20/case-of-the-mondays/feed/ 1 Thought You’d Appreciate My Coolness http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/03/04/thought-youd-appreciate-my-coolness/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/03/04/thought-youd-appreciate-my-coolness/#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:05:02 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=5904 So today I was passing one of my mangers… who by the way is late 50s at best.. and I said ‘ what up ‘??

He said, ‘did you just say “what up” ??’ and I said ‘ word ‘

Thought you’d appreciate my coolness…

Love you!!

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/03/04/thought-youd-appreciate-my-coolness/feed/ 2 Snow Day for Mom’s Ass http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/02/16/snow-day-for-moms-ass/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/02/16/snow-day-for-moms-ass/#comments Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:30:07 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=5790 Backstory: it’s snowing like mad here and I’m at work.

My ass is staying home. I’m calling in snow sick. When does your ass get to go home? Let me know when your ass gets there.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/02/16/snow-day-for-moms-ass/feed/ 2 Head of the (Cl)ass http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/01/29/head-of-the-class/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/01/29/head-of-the-class/#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:30:56 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=5669 Mom: One of the boys at school found my home phone number and called and left a dirty message about what he wants to do with my ass.
Me: Really?? What did he say?
Mom: I don’t know something about he wants to pop it, or spank it.
Why would he like my ass?
Me: What exactly did it say, humor me.
Mom: Yo, Mrs.— I’m going to pop a cap in your ass.
Me: Omg Mom that means he wants to kill you.
Mom: Really? I thought he liked me.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2010/01/29/head-of-the-class/feed/ 8 Solution: One Hail Mary http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/11/12/solution-one-hail-mary/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/11/12/solution-one-hail-mary/#comments Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:30:18 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=5244 Backstory: My sister has consistent problems with her boss and tends to complain to the family about their trouble. Mom was concerned.

I said a rosary 4 her. She doesnt need 2 b put down by a jealous bitch anymore. No wonder she has stomach problems & anxiety.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/11/12/solution-one-hail-mary/feed/ 0 Educational Advice http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/10/09/educational-advice/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/10/09/educational-advice/#comments Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:07:36 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=5021 Backstory: I wasn’t looking forward to grading a stack of essays.

You should tell them just to write a short sentence. Like a twitter!

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/10/09/educational-advice/feed/ 2 MAINTAIN! http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/10/08/maintain/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/10/08/maintain/#comments Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:30:59 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=5015 Backstory: I had written my mom and told her that I was just trying to “maintain”. This was her response.

MAINTAIN- know you can do it. Be sure to take good care of YOURSELF. Don’t let anyone take advantage of YOU. ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR WORK! Will talk later. I thought that you and Diego were “an item”? Maybe it’s just the pressure of work. But we can talk if you want to. Don’t write back-know you’re busy.

Love, your mom who is full of advice

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/10/08/maintain/feed/ 2 If You Visit a Site, They Put You on a List http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/29/if-you-visit-a-site-they-put-you-on-a-list/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/29/if-you-visit-a-site-they-put-you-on-a-list/#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:55:21 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=4946 I love you.  N was on vacation.  Then she was sick.  I have been at the reception desk more often to cover.  She also had some unexpected meetings.  I use her computer.  That is on the city system.  People have been using my computer when I am next door.  That is as it should be because it does not really belong to me.  That is why you have not heard from me besides the fact that we are not really supposed to use them for personal use.  I received 3 junk or suspicious e-mails.  It may be because people were using my computer.  Sometimes (I am sure you know) if you visit a site, then they put you on a list.  All of this is to say I miss you so much but I am not going to e-mail you from work.  Love, Mom

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/29/if-you-visit-a-site-they-put-you-on-a-list/feed/ 2 Boob Caught Where? http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/15/boob-caught-where/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/15/boob-caught-where/#comments Tue, 15 Sep 2009 13:30:32 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=4862 We have been so busy at work this week I think we are getting delirious. F [best friend at work] was over here earlier telling me how she got her boob caught in an occilating fan yesterday and I laughed so hard I had tears.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/15/boob-caught-where/feed/ 2 Dad’s New Goodies http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/04/dads-new-goodies/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/04/dads-new-goodies/#comments Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:30:22 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=4808 Mom: Dad had his “new employee orientation” yesterday and came home with all sorts of goodies
Mom: like decent health insurance
Mom: and a picture frame

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/09/04/dads-new-goodies/feed/ 3 Put On Your Patience Sombrero http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/06/06/put-on-your-patience-sombrero/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/06/06/put-on-your-patience-sombrero/#comments Sat, 06 Jun 2009 15:45:22 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=4194 Backstory: I recently started a new job and sent my mom an email complaining about my incredibly strange boss.

Ah yes – plays well with others. Much harder as an adult. As I look back at all the freaks I’ve worked with, its definitely better looking back at the situation than being in the middle of it. Put your patience sombrero on and breathe deep. Some people are truly strange and beyond help. I know this is why they made you do group projects in school – to build your frustration tolerance.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/06/06/put-on-your-patience-sombrero/feed/ 10 If You Like Penis Coladas… http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/05/15/if-you-like-penis-coladas/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/05/15/if-you-like-penis-coladas/#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 15:50:46 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=4058 Backstory: I was bartending at the time.

me: i have to get ready for work now
mom: make lots of penis collattas
mom: love momy
me: you’re a freak

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/05/15/if-you-like-penis-coladas/feed/ 1 Work Report Card http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/17/work-report-card/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/17/work-report-card/#comments Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:10:50 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=3812 Backstory: I had just received a really good performance appraisal at work and sent my mom a copy for her to see how well I did.

WOW you are an exceptional employee. I could have told her all that myself if she would have asked me. Your mama is very proud of you!! Here is my rating for you:

___Exceptional
___More than Exceptional
_x__Off the Hook

It’s official you are off the hook with me yo!I love you, you little over achiever!!!!MOM

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/17/work-report-card/feed/ 13 Shake That Thing http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/13/shake-that-thing/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/13/shake-that-thing/#comments Mon, 13 Apr 2009 13:02:58 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=3781 me: hi mom! what’s shaking?
mom: nothing, are you kidding me? i just got home from work and i’m too tired to shake a thing.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/13/shake-that-thing/feed/ 0 Email in the OR http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/04/email-in-the-or/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/04/email-in-the-or/#comments Sat, 04 Apr 2009 19:24:49 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=3715 Backstory: My mom is an OR nurse and was in surgery at the time, trying to look at a link I sent her via e-mail.

mom: I can’t look at it at work, they blocked it.
me: DUMB
mom: I know, way DUMB
me: what are you supposed to be doing?
mom: watching the field to see if they need anything
me: yeesh, it’s not like you’re saving lives or anything…
mom: Seriously! It’s just an eye.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/04/email-in-the-or/feed/ 6 HEY FAT LADY! http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/02/hey-fat-lady/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/02/hey-fat-lady/#comments Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:22:16 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=3696 Backstory: Momma works in a nursing home, and C is her much-older brother-in-law.

So, I’m at work, walking down the hall, minding my own business, not bothering anybody, and a resident was apparently trying to get my attention, which I failed to notice.  Next thing you know, she explodes “HEY FAT LADY!”, which of course causes me to turn around and look, to which she bellows “That’s right, YOU!!!  Get over here RIGHT NOW or I am firing you!  You’re as lazy as you are FAT!”  Needless to say there were 5 or 6 little skinny girls standing there who were highly amused at my expense.

Also, C informed me that he is, in fact, hitting on me.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2009/04/02/hey-fat-lady/feed/ 11 Bra-ha-ha http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/10/29/bra-ha-ha-2/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/10/29/bra-ha-ha-2/#comments Wed, 29 Oct 2008 15:58:20 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=2513 Backstory: My mom e-mailed this to me at 11:30 am, and I believe she gets to work at 8 am.

I just realized that I forgot to put on my bra today. What the…….!

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/10/29/bra-ha-ha-2/feed/ 6 When Mom Works With High Schoolers http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/09/22/when-mom-works-with-high-schoolers/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/09/22/when-mom-works-with-high-schoolers/#comments Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:22:11 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=2216 Mom: she [the boss] sent him home yesterday. he got off probation on wed so he smoked the W and was puking his guts up all over the street

Me:  umm get out

Mom:  well he is a VERY bad boy
even thought he keeps telling me he’s a man I keep telling him then he needs to start acting like one

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/09/22/when-mom-works-with-high-schoolers/feed/ 3 Work Hijinks http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/09/18/work-hijinks/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/09/18/work-hijinks/#comments Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:17:50 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=2199 Backstory: M. is her co-worker and D. is her boss.

m. and I are trying to think of a prank to pull on d.  There’s is currently a bucket of water (catching a leak) in the opera house attic that has a rotten rat floating in it.   we want to plant a fake rat and some gut juice or something near his desk.  Any creative ideas??

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/09/18/work-hijinks/feed/ 0 Handsomest Boy In School http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/07/03/handsomest-boy-in-school/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2008/07/03/handsomest-boy-in-school/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:00:02 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=1933 Sounds to me like your performance review should be GREAT, but of course, I’m the mom and you’re the handsomest boy in school.   Let me know what’s going on…just as an FYI today is my last day at work until 7/21, so don’t e-mail me here after today, OK.

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